Why Simpsons Fans Are Obsessed With Bort
2 min read
Bort is the name on the only license plate Bart can find in the Itchy & Scratchy Land gift shop, and it isn't a typo.
Bart reads down a rack of personalised plates. "Barclay." "Barry." "Bert." Then: "Bort?"
A boy beside him: "Mommy, Mommy! Buy me a license plate!"
"No. Come along, Bort."
Bart: "Are you talking to me?"
"No. My son is also named Bort."
Wear it
The joke explained
The episode is "Itchy & Scratchy Land" (Season 6, Episode 4), written by John Swartzwelder and first aired on October 2, 1994. The Simpsons take a family holiday at the Itchy & Scratchy theme park.
The plate rack goes straight from Bert to Bort. There is no Bart. There is, standing right next to him, a Bort.
The joke comes back later over the park PA, in the middle of a run of announcements about a mop-and-bucket man and a jumper on the roof of T.G.I. McScratchy's: "We need more Bort license plates in the gift shop." Then: "I repeat, we are sold out of Bort license plates."
Why it works
Every souvenir rack skips somebody's name. This one skips Bart's and sells out of Bort.
The PA voice never changes tone. Bort plates moving faster than stock is routine park business, between the mop job and the roof.
Bill Oakley has said he always liked the joke, and was surprised by how famous it got.
Is Bort a real name?
Not as a first name, as far as we can find. It is a real word, though: in the diamond trade, bort is the term for shards of diamond that aren't gem quality.
Who is Bort?
A kid in a red T-shirt holding his mum's hand in the gift shop. He gets one line, the one about buying a license plate, and his mother gets the rest. That's his whole part in the episode.
The PA line
The announcer is never seen. The same system later tells Marge that her son has been arrested, then: "We've also arrested your older, balder, fatter son."
30 years of Bort
The joke turned into the merchandise it was making fun of. It inspired real vanity plates, and Bort souvenirs sold in the Simpsons shops at Universal Orlando.
It has also turned into a paperwork problem. In late 2025, WBZ NewsRadio reported that the driver who holds the only genuine BORT plate in Massachusetts keeps receiving toll bills and violation notices meant for drivers using novelty Bort plates. The novelty ones say "Itchy & Scratchy Land" across the top. The toll cameras bill her anyway.
The Bort tee. Not, at time of writing, sold out.
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