How to Make Steamed Hams - An Upstate New York Classic

Steamed Hams Recipe

Well well well, if it isn't the most overused Simpsons reference to date.

Today, we'll help you make your luncheon truly unforgettable with our Steamed Hams recipe. Hailing from Upstate New York, this dish is quick, easy and is sure to please even the most picky guests.

What you'll need:

  • 1 whole chicken
  • 4 sesame-seed hamburger buns
  • 500g beef mince
  • The shittest pickles from Woolies you can find
  • Half an onion
  • Coupla tomatoes
  • Iceberg lettuce
  • Mayo & tomato sauce
  • 64 slices of American cheese

(Serves 2)


  1. Preheat your oven to 220 degrees and chuck the chicken in
  2. Leave it in for a while (the longer the better)
  3. Pull out the burnt chicken and place it aside. We won't be needing this
  4. OPTIONAL: Stretch your calves on the windowsill for good measure.
  5. Season the mince with salt & pepper and form into patties.
  6. Butter the hamburger buns and toast them until lightly browned.
  7. Get the BBQ going and cook each patty for two to three minutes each side
  8. Assemble buns with desired fillings and serve on a silver platter.


If you've made it this far, we're sorry for wasting 3 minutes of your time.

Hope you're having a great day.

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Unforgettable Luncheon (literally) 

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